Don't know much about the song but love the artist. Saw him at the Tate Modern.

Brenna Saves Millions of Elderly from Burning Building

Yesterday and today I temped at this organization called "Help the Old". Ifso facto I have personally helped the aging of Scotland and I am a hero. I might get to see those pearly gates afterall.

At first I was fussy about being assigned to an area 20 minutes outside of the city, Granton Square, because I had specifically requested jobs inside of city centre (like they say, once a city girl...never a commuter). I was afraid I would get lost, be outside of cellphone reception *gasp* but it was more than alright. I had a new book, new scenery on the top of a double decker bus- where all the rowdy kids sit. The area is past Leith which rolls into the ocean- so close you almost forget it's there.

The "Fufillment Team" (the assembley of workers) as they are called, were comprised of 4 adorable old Scots- Ethel, Bob, Betsey, and Ellen and 4 other temps my age.

New School vs. Old School.

The older ones were volunteers and they were as sweet as the day is long...or dark in Scotlands case. Every 15 minutes or so they asked if they couldn't get us spotta tea and biscuit. Free food and I have a long standing, passionate relationship-I left heavier than I came, having tried every variety and wearing a necklace of crumbs on my sweater. They entertained us with stories of a younger Edinburgh.

The younger generation, I don't have to tell you, was hand selected form the temp company as the highest caliber, the best Scotland has to offer. We were assigned tasks that were intellectually challenging that most small minded people wouldn't be able to comprehend its importance and the hours of training and preparation put into this.

All day we stuffed envelopes full of raffle tickets off of a long list of contributors.

Step 1: Match raffle ticket to name
Step 2: Double check ticket number to name
Step 3: Put into envelop
Step 4: Seal Envelop
Step 5: Put envelope in stack of twenty.
Repeat 400x

Funny names included:

Mr. Downer
Ms. Lady
Mr. Large
Mr. Gay
Mrs. Easter Mccalden (can we get any more old lady scottish than that??)

What we had to do was so meanial that you couldn't even be bothered to think about the task even if you tried. Some of the temps let their minds wonder out loud speaking about current events, weekend plans, etc. We joked that our agency had CCTV and was placing bets on which one of us was going to crack first or whether there was a Willy Wonka ticket in one of the envelopes (there wasn't).

What kept me going was imagining that with the same movements I was doing another more adventurous task such as playing the drums in cuba, a florist arranging a bouqet, or a world renowned chef hand selecting spices in a Moraccan market. Maybe the people who are stuck in those jobs were pretending they were stuffing envelopes for a charity in a basement.

Hah! And they say a liberal arts background doesn't amount to anything in the real world.

Let me tell you...the letter stuffing industry is cut throat...or cut finger as in paper cut- it's a dog eat dog...girl drink tea and stare out window kind of world in there.

At night I worked a night shift at my new resteraunt where the tips are nothing to be complaining about. It felt good to be earning rather than burning moo lah. I'll have to try make a habit of it one day.

Everything is Relative.

When the English came over to Australia they brought rabbits for sport hunting. The rabbits won however, because they begun to F*9$*% like rabbits and soon became a dominent non- species force to be reckoned with. These waskley non native wabbits are responsible for destroying approximently 1/3 of Australia's bush- ecologists (that means anyone from Australia as all of them are enviornmentally conscious...they run around the hostel turning off lights) are instructed to try to kill or paralyze any bunny seen on sight. They are like roaches to them.

Damn.

Da Da

Store front at dusk

Hey...your pants are REALLY tight

Maggie shamelessly checks out the euro buldge.

Poindexteridy

I'm fixated on this website I joined called, Goodreads.com. It's like Facebook for smart people and amazon without money. Obsession is a hereditary trait (cough cough Brian Powers has 293 books) as I find myself scanning bookstore windows thinking, "I've read this book...but have I put it on Goodreads? Rated it? Do I remember it well enough to judge it?"

If there was anyway to out geek myself on a already geeky blog I just did.

Speaking of which I dove into this new book: Stiff, The curious Lives of Human Cadeavors. Mary Roach is a remarkable writer. The subject combines the bio ethics of body donation, anatomy, and humor (you'd have to be in that field). She also discusses the push and pull between the objectification and personification of the body as a means of coping. When does it cease to be real? When dos anyone stop being a person? I find myself doing that here- when someone is an ass to me I write off their existence because I can afford to do that- there are so many people that I can't be bogged down by Brenna haters and then there is the latter- if a person I meet is really inquizitive to me and kind I crown them with a potential friend label. The power of imagination.

The book is graphic at parts but my curiosity has trumped my weak stomach, so it goes. It got me thinking at what it means to be alive, dead, alive and in conjuring up notions of the undead I've decided I am a ghost of Edinburgh. I am haunting Edinburgh instead of inhabiting it- I tread lightly in whatever I do, where ever I go and in doing so am presented with an autonomy which I have never known.I have no address, a temporary library card/work visa/job, merely aquaintainces, and hardly the finances to aquire any good that would I would associate with being here. A ghosts purpose is to discover why they are not alive and what they need to do to make peace. I fancy being a ghost- a happy one like Casper.

Co woffey Twalk

Yesterday while working I picked up a scent that was so familiar and distinct that I felt the urge to stop whatever I was doing, whoever I was helping to, identify it to confirm my senses. If I had been wrong my universe would crumble- down would no longer be down up would cease to be up. The unmistakeable scent was a New York accent- and the tone was bitching. The phrase I caught wind of while walking by was:

"Awall day I bust my bwalls- Jeeeeesus and fo what?"

Turns out they WERE from New York (this Bloodhound is never wrong) and more specifically Long Giland and on a micro level Oceanside and to top it off with a little creepiness they went to Oceanside Highschool. Wow.

Temping

I signed up for a temping agency yesterday to add extra loot on top of the restraunt job. Apparently the part of the criteria for temping here is time traveling to before the 1960's as the description of the job includes- taking and changing the rubbish bin, tidying up around the office, greeting guests in a energetic matter and sorting mail. The agency is called, I kid you not, Office "Saints" (very simular to that), when you walk in to register all of the furniture is pink, there are free lollipops, and magazines like Elle and Vogue spread about. I wasn't sure if I was signing up to temp or for my monthly gyno visit. The receptionist had catoonishly bad highlights and one of those feather pens from Clueless. It was all a little embarassing but hey, so is not having money to eat.

When do I get a robot troop to go around to bars with me when Maggie is at work? ...can you imagine a robot wingman that would go up to someone and say, "May a purchase a beverage for you and then commence in a dancing ritual?"

Man, I love the future.

beck - hell yes

I love this video but on a more serious note. I will have Beck's babies.

Snoop Dogg -Sensual seduction (official Video)

New Snoop Dogg...enough said.

Happy New Year Rat a tats!!

Happy Chinese New Year and a special shout out to all my rats out there....it's our year, ripe babies of 1984- we have to shine big!

"Good artists borrow...great artists steal"- Picasso

The J.K. Rowling portrait is actually 3D...it looks alot better in person so you will have to see it. It is also displayed at the Portriat Gallery in Washington DC if you want to save a little money on transportation.



The UK's own BLUR....god bless em




I know that I am not suppossed to take photographs in museaums and I know why..perfectly valid reasons such as copyright infringment, respect to the museaum, perserving the piece from being exposed to artificial light but I am bad....I am really really bad and impulsive to boot. I know I for one would be pissed to see my life's work being displayed on some puny website...well no I wouldn't but still nameless artist(s) I am sorry but I had to and I will probly do it again.

Razzle Dazzle

Later Europe (or maybe the world for all that I know) has been trying to push these metallic flats....it started with gold which i could deal with but now...Europe you've gone too far. Unless I am touring with Madonna I'll pass, thanks.

A touch of Glasgow

More on Foggy London Town

Last train out of London

We flew into London via Glasgow on the citylink bus which only costs $4.60 pds. Certainly something we want to consider in the future for a weekend out. I loved Glascow more than I anticipated. It reminded me of Philly- when the building are classy they are stunningly beautiful and when they are dingy they are. Lots of funky vintage shops. There seemed to be more Scots there which made us feel like we were in Scotland as oppossed to Edinburgh which sometimes feels like a little Austrailia. We have tenative plans to return for St. Paddy's day. Love to check out the night life, they seem to be a little more concentrated than Edinburgh which is spread out.

In London we couldn't have asked for better accomadations if we tried. We stayed at Chateu de Family Friend which included lovely meals, a free walking tour, internet, access to public transportation and so much more. It was the first time Maggie and I have slept on beds that weren't rented since we have been here and it was divine. What was even better was not getting woken up by the Spanish hungover cleaners at 10:30 vacuming and knocking on the door after they are already in.

London is up there with New York in terms of the best people watching although I would say New York has better crazies and London has better accents (no offense to the NY readers). For all the places I can marvel at watching my money go up in smoke London is a great one. But I will say that taking the cheap flight didn't pay off we are probly going to take the train up next time instead of Easysweat because it goes directly to waterloo instead of Stansted and will be leaving a lighter carbon footprint. And there will be a next time....London's Calling and it will call back soon.

I was thinking today how the same statement

"American's smile all the time"

has been used as a insulting observation or a compliment depending.

Trainspotting

Just finished reading the book Trainspotting and it was terrifying but very intresting. The bar that I currently work in is mentioned in the book as a place where these junkies go to pick up these naive American tourists. The book is written mostly in the venacular with lots of beautiful description inbetween. I tried to recite verses outloud to work on my Scottish accent but ended up sounding like a character from the color purple "Ay didnae lak whin she sad that ta me". It all a slow moving trainwreck that you can't help but look away. It's even more groteque than the movie if you imagine. It made me glad I am not in Edinburgh circa 1988 that's for sure. I will be reading the sequel Porno soon.

Now I am reading "Catch me if you Can" which is even better than the movie- it's a autobiography and you can tell why this man is such a successful con artist- he's charasmatic and witty all at once. It's better than the movie- I reccomend it so far. Ok I finished it and it was remarkable. Go out and read it! Never has cheque fraud seemed this capivating! Half of the regulations and limitations on bank checks were made because of this young man! And it's not just about that it's about traveling...here I am giving it away- go and read it!

Anytime I find a book at the hostel which isn't a murder mystery, fantasy, or Stephen King type thriller I see it as a sign that I have to read it because there's kind of a take a book leave a book thing they've got going on here. Recently I found "Pride and Prejudice" which I have tried to read time and time again but it never works out. I don't fancy myself to be a classic lit gal...I think I am more contemporary.

Next I want to read the Marie Atoinette biography...anybody have any recent suggestions for books?

Fish 'n' chips

Maggie enjoys her very first Fish n chips with Great Success, Yessemesh (Borat voice)

Don't get stuck!

Sorry i've been a lazy bones but I've been in foggy London town which was actually sunny...god bless ya global warming. More posts and details to come but here's a teaser- it's the birds eye view of the Tate Modern's giant crack.

Globe Trottin'

We have decided to go to Glascow a day earlier than was planned Wednesday instead of the day of our flight. Neither of us have work and we figure spending money for accomadation here or there..what's the difference and we want a full on day to explore the city. It's amazing how trivial the Edinburgh/Glascow rivalry is. We have been asking Scots we meet and alot haven't been there, don't want to go, or say it's only good for shopping--and it's only an hour away! One person we were chatting with said that he can't understand the accent over there and when we asked him to repeat what it sounded like he said he couldn't because it was too ugly.

Yesterday we took a really long walk to see the Botanical Gardens, they were a beauty. And we discovered a suberb, Stockbridge that we might potentially like better than Edinburgh (the people seem a tad less up their asses....or "arses") We are trying to not settle on where we settle but our patience with the hostel life is growing thin. The communal lifestyle which used to be like summer camp is starting to be closer to hmmm...prison- prison in a country that it not America that is. Let's hope I don't get shanked in the shower.

Friday is London and although we don't have any rigid plans we have a few to do's such as:

- Visit with my darling family friends AD, RD, and MD.
- See the Tate Modern.
- Purchase boots that don't go squish squish in the rain and bleed my socks red.
- Meet Maggie's cousin who lives in London
- Possibly meet up with Melody (on her way back from Morroco) and her sister.
- Go to Madonna's house and have her realize that we are soulmates (is there anyway to say that without it coming out as creepy as that sounds??) and invite her to....
- Go to a gay club and dance to Madonna (with Madonna of corse) and laugh in the face of Valentines Day, muhahah because Valentines has and always will be for my gays and my girls.

Yum Yum

Yesterday we ate dinner at my relatives living in Edinburgh the K's. If we looked like we were eating because we hadn't eaten in ages....it's because we hadn't. They were very hospitable and it was refreshing to get a new perspective of life in the UK from people who are not in the same position as we are. We made plans to see a student production of an opera- an event I never would have known about through word of mouth at the hostel.

Please Sir Can I have s'more

It has been unusuallly warm lately. The other day I ran in shorts, I thought I might need blinders for my criminally pale legs, and I passed a field of purple snow drops! Spring has...not sprung but...spring has made a babystep in the right direction. Part of me feels like I shouldn't even be writing that as to jinx the mean rain gods.

Yesterday we went to a farmers market that is once a week. I had porridge for the first time in my life. I thought porridge was ghoul and peasents food (see Oliver Twist)- little did I know it's the UK's best kept secret. There were so many variations on the dish- they had cranberry sauce, rasberrys, apples, grapes, whisky, cream, honey, walnuts, and crunchy pieces of flap jacks.

I also found a vintage children book store. I have a few ideas of what to get my only and favorite niece- I just need to narrow it down-as of now I'm buying up the entire store. When you see antique stores in other countries you realy get how new school the states really are.

Wow,I actually have gotten used to staying "The States" instead of America...somehow it sounds less aggressive than AMERICA RED WHITE AND BLUE/ US OF A! It's always sad when I tell people that I am from the states and they seem somewhat dissapointed that I am not Canadian as if our potential friendship has been tainted and my IQ has plumetted...maybe if I told them I was gun totting that they would change their tune. Yee haw.

The best is when people rationalize their prejudice with overt generalizations such as "Americans aren't are bad they are just egotistical, sheltered, aggressive, and stealing all of our natural resources." Seems like a bit of a cheap shot if you ask me. But I guess as Jesus died for our sins and we will suffer for Senor Bushy. Whatever happened to the simpler times when people would just objectify me for being a woman, sigh. It's not that I think that America is the best country and it is without problems I just don't enjoy any kind of judgement on any basis.

Ellllliotttt

In this middle of the night these girls came into our room drunk thinking it was theirs and had these flashlights....looking up I could only see their sneakers up to their abdomens so I had no idea who they were- because of that I woke up thinking of ET. Maggie and I started discussing whether ET was a Jim Henson puppet or a robot. Wikipedia told me some more reasons to love that movie. To many critics ET was a analogy for Jesus and others feel that ET was an extention for EllioT. The film was shot in chronological order to capture emotions. Also it is imspired by Speilburgs parents divorcing when he was 10 (he said he felt alienated). ET's appearance is inspired by Albert Einstein and Ernest Hemingways face and lastly the costume of ET was embodied by 2 dwarfs and a boy born without legs---WHHHHAAAAAAAATTTTTTT???? Facts like that make me sad that CGI computer animation has replaced robotics and puppets...how are boys born without legs suppossed to get employed??

After 1 dress and a book have been stolen I have decided I am officially outgrowing this hostel and communial living on an extreme level. 14 girls in one room...is getting a bit old. Speaking of old there is someone in our room who mid 40's at least- she has pictures of kids and everything. I am truely curious as to what her deal is but fear it will be a sad story that will depress her to tell me and me to hear. On top of that there are some true weirdos in our room such as: the mad hatter (who sleeps with her hat on when the room is very hot), snory, sleepy (who goes to bed at 9 at wakes up at the crack of dawn), the pack rat (unpacks and packs and is very loud), the heavy breather (god only knows what she is up to), the tosser (that's me...and I fear rolling off the top bunk and wake up with my heart racing thinking about it!) Maggie and I have kicked the apt. search into high gear- keep you posted.

Have a Super Tuesday!

Times like this I miss being in America or more specifically D.C. Monday, the superbowel, made me miss the south (chicken wings, tailgating and superbowel parties at Guilford) and now I am homesick for political hype. I have never felt more out of the loop...although I guess that's what I technically am (the loop being America) I can only imagine everyone wearing buttons, drinking coffee, buzzing around and how busy and blocked off the whole place is. Over here most people ask me about whether I think Obama or Clinton will win not even acknowledging that there is the whole rebublican problem to deal with. Everyone vote for me and vote doubley (I think the republicans owe us a few votes from the last election 2 elections). Bush+Dick= Fucked...but not for long!!

Maggie and I rocked paper scissored our way into deciding where to take a day trip to. We wanted to be by the sea so it was downn to a few places on the shore but ultimately St. Andrews took the win. In my experience nothing stirs classic conversation than a bus ride. Planes there are too many people anxious, trying to sleep and working, trains are romantic lovely to read or write in but the bus is uncomterable/cramped and bus people are altogether hilarious so it's guaranteed awesome convos.

St. Andrews is a quiant beach town with long walks and smiley (not exactly smiling but closer) people. We walked down to the harbour and I got to thinking how retro lobster traps look and are. When you see something that is unchanged it is reassuring...I know the day that I start to see lobster traps that are robotic, invisible, and fold to be the size of my hand I will truely feel old. University of St. Andrews is where Prince WIlliam went to college...why British royalty goes to school in Scotland is beyond me- perhaps it is tradition. Being back at St. Andrews remided me of how Prince William used to lust over me in his college days before I broke his heart because of his receiting hairline.

We then found a deserted beach with wimpy waves. I immedietly had the urge to go running around and do a few kart wheels which I did and I always do when I see a beach leaving Maggie stuck listening to an old man who was informing her in great detail about the difference between the Glascow Accent and the Western Scotland accent. Maggie is like the Old Man Whisperer...an typical exchange between a passerby would be a nod and a smile but with Maggie is a listened conversation on the history of time.

The beach in the wintertime reminds me of that wonderful scene in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. It's romantic and bitter sweet. We walked all day- I didn't have my camera and I was BITTER. I often rely on visual cues in this blog...I am able to use alot of detail because I take more pictures than I need to which makes me downright anxious when I am without it. Never ever have I wished more that I could have a go go gadget internal camera that would work when I blinked. I am truely a child of technology.

One nation...under Facebook.

At the gym the other day I heard two girls in the sauna jabbering on in Russian. Hearing that language (to my ear at least) gossiping in a way that sounds like argueing is about as far away from achieving a zen moment in the sauna as one can get. And then in the middle of their conversation I hear "blahbkahblahvodkadaFACEBOOKblahajsdkjskjhldFACEBOOK". I was actually shocked that the facebook epidemic is able to seep into every young culture while relying on practically no advertising. And then I was considering whether or not I could and should buy shares in Facebook. It's a site that generates revenue so I don't see why not although it's free to sign up and join so I am not sure. I know that any internet investment can be here today blah tommarow...anyone have any answers?

Fresh off the boat

This is a picture taken on one of our first days here. What strikes me about this picture besides looking like a pumpkin headed dweed and realizing that I have already lost that comfy hoodie I am wearing under my jacket is how long ago this moment seems and how extremley fortunate I have been on this trip to be able to go and go with a best friend! I can already tell that it has gotten warmer since that picture was taken or maybe I am just adjusting more- either way...everything is looking up.

Alla Le Bleu!

France has landed in Edinburgh and by that I mean France vs. Scotland in rugby. The streets were flooded with red, blue and white. I was working in the bar from 11 in the morning untill 11 at night. I am beyond exausted. I was thinking today with all the eye raping going on in my area if only the general public adored me like the 50 year old beer bellied french men did....I would be in business.

Cheerio Mate

Maggie and I are going to London in two weeks we have a few friend we are visiting. The flights are super cheap 10 pds. Trading one grey city for another one! In the mean time I am working my booty off to be able to afford to party like a rockstar in Foggy London Town. That means working everyday at the bar...7 days a week...ugh.

We have decided that once a month we are going to take a weekend trip to another country some contenders are: Croatcia, Portugal, Spain, Greece....as you can see we are craving some vitamin C!

Maggie looking out to a snowy Edinburgh getting ready to go to work and thinking, "Oh Shit."

Hit me baby one more time

For one reason or another drunk people at the hostel love going on binges of listening to Eric Clapton's song "Tears in Heaven." I can't think of anything that would kill my drunk buzz more than a song about Clapton's dead baby.

Also- What the Eff is going on with my girl Britney Spears. She has obviously been unable to cope with living in my absense (who could). Whatever happened to simpler times where she would make an honest living wearing low hip huggers requiring a bikini wax whilst dry humping back up dancers and lip syncing lyrics she didn't write? Ah...to be young again.