The Rain Falls Mainly All The Time

One would think that with all the rain that you stop noticing it but instead it's always on your mind-how much, how hard, how cold because it is baffling how much it rains here. You expect the sky to run out. It's a strange bedfellow- your enemy and friend. It puts a fire under your ass to hustle wherever you go. Yesterday I was without my umbrella and I felt as if I had forgotten keys and was locked out of my house- the dry house. Muttering to myself and disheveled to match I tried to solve the conundrum with creative approaches but damn my liberal arts background they were all whimsical and impractical.

This is the best remedy I had outside of stealing someone else’s umbrella and running away or turning back time. If I acquired one of those huge plastic American Gladiator human gerbil balls- a 360 umbrella.





Your feet could be dry without having to resort to looking like you have evolved into a platypus (wellies). If anyone got in my way...plow them down. I know it could take a turn for the worst with the cobble stone streets and the momentum of the hills but I'd be willing to take the risk. Maybe public health care would hook me up if I told them I suddenly realized that I was born without a compromised immune system *cough cough* and required a bubble but solely for commuting purposes.